In a bizarre press statement this afternoon, NASA confirmed that the forward-facing lights seen emanating from what was thought to be a comet, Comet 3I Atlas heading towards the Earth at this very moment appear to be headlights. One agent claimed the vehicle traveling this way at 137,000 miles per hour looks like an old Dodge pickup. As this news makes its way around the globe, rumors have it that the militia is fired up!
A spokesman for the White House says the president is playing golf. Kristi Noem, however, claimed she is looking forward to taking the aliens hunting. In a brief but blunt statement, Tom Homan said ICE was preparing for any illegals who might be trying to seek entry into the U.S.
Comet 3I Atlas, which has been renamed by some as the Redneck Space Cowboys, originally was said to come closest to Earth this winter. Now scientists are wondering if they are planning to stop by.
Astrophysicist, George Wilson said, “We are not prepared for anything like this. There is no official procedure planned for what happens if aliens land on this planet. We don’t have one, China doesn’t have one, AI doesn’t have one… but it’s working on it… Whether they are ill intended or otherwise, we are winging it boys.”